he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
