Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
