What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
