I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this will be a night to untag.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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