so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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