Where is the hickey?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
