So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
