Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
