I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
