2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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