Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
