You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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