ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize