I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
