had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
