How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
