on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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