the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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