last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
