in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
