I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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