Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
