Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
