I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
