The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
