I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
