I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
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It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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