Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
