There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
