So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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