i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore