his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize