I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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