Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
