but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
