i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
