dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
