I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
