The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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