Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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