This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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