I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
