Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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