Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Jerry, you need to find god
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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