we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Randomize
