i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Randomize
