it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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