How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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