using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
