This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
