Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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