Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
