I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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