i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
