Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
