So drunk its hurt
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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