It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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