I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
