So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
