The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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