Betty ford says i'm here all night
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
These tits shall not be calmed
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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