Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Randomize