he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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