obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i think i just lost a toe
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
